I am an introvert

I am single, never married and just turned 40. Sometimes I feel I must be an alien from outer space. All the people around me are trying to hook up. I have just never had that desire to spend lots of time with anyone except myself. Oh sure, I enjoy hanging out with my dog. My cats are fun to watch. Human companionship is another story though. I am an extreme introvert. I don’t want to go out. I don’t want a boyfriend. I sure don’t want to get married. I would only be happy living by myself.

These feelings started pretty early in life. I grew up in a somewhat large family of five kids. When I was growing up I would hide in all kinds of places so no one could find me. I really wanted to be alone. I was also extremely shy. In elementary school I hardly spoke at all. I was drawn into the world of Rebecca, and was happy there. I guess you could say that I am just anti-social. I don’t think it is my parent’s fault, I think I was just born that way. For fun I like to read. I really do believe silence is golden.

My evil twin is my sister Kim. She is a raging extrovert with a type A personality. I will always remember one conversation we had. We had just finished visiting our parents and she was driving me home. I was exhausted and she asked me if being around people all day makes me tired. She understood. Being around people takes away my energy. I need to be alone to rejuvenate myself. She said that for her being around people is what feeds her energy. Being alone makes her tired. I realized that is the primary difference between an introvert and an extrovert. If you are an introvert people take your energy away. If you are an extrovert people give you energy.

I don’t want to change. I am not trying to improve. I’m not interested in taking a class on how I can feel comfortable giving a speech in front of 5 gazillion people. I am an introvert who quite possibly will become an anti-social old hermit, and I am very happy with that real possibility. You just don’t hear my view as often because all the extroverts are talking so loudly they drown us out. I just want to be accepted for who I am. I am an introvert.